Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
