ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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