Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
