youre lurking in front of me
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
