the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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