Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
