I wanna bring you to show and tell
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
