My hand turned me down
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
