i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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