the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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