So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
