im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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