I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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