Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
