Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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