But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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