i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize