my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
