I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
