mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
