I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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