I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
