____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
