i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
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Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
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You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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