is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
As shirtless as possible
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
