either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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