It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
