we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You took a bar mat shot.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
