As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
