When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
