take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
