i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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