Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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