Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
