It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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