Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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