yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
