I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
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No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
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Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Couch. On fire.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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