I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
