just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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