if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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