So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
