have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
