is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
