ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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