I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
