some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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