whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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