A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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