a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
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There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
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look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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