He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
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just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
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So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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