hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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