Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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