dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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