worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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