No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
