would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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