Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Oh god it's open bar.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
