And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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